Authentic, Shepherding, or Manipulating Emotions?

Should personal emotions be hidden while leading worship?

Should personal emotions be hidden while leading worship?

In a blog post about thinking pastorally about emotions in worship, Zach Hicks (a worship leader and scholar) lays out two extremes that are encountered and fretted about by both the leaders and the congregation. The two extremes are emotional manipulation and emotional avoidance. He writes that people are against “using God-given affective tools merely for the sake of creating an emotionally charged experience in worship.“ He goes on to describe how people can feel like the worship leader or band is trying to make the congregation feel a certain way. He continues that some find “the worship leader” is acting as a “cheerleader who is behaving more like an aerobics instructor than a worship pastor.” That can happen by the worship leader or band members making certain gestures during worship, like closing their eyes and swaying while lifting their hands or jumping and dancing around the stage in a manner exhorting the congregation to dance and shout praises to God. In my research for an article on children’s worship which I published, I encountered videos were the worship leaders danced around and seemed more focused on the singers having fun rather than taking part in worship. It can seem like they are equating a certain emotional reaction, often joy, with the presence and experience of God, but often it is seen as emotion for the sake of emotion.

The other extreme is leading the worship service without any trace of emotion. This is conveyed with “varying degrees of austerity, an emphasis on reverence, fear, respect, and spoken or unspoken moratoriums on physical expressiveness or outward displays of intense emotion.” During one service I was attending, it was clear that one of the worship singers were getting swept up in the song and raised their hands and started to sway to the music. The worship leader very quickly, and loudly, told the singer that they do not do that type of thing at their church. The worship leader wanted the singer and the rest of the congregation to know that there was no room for emotion during the singing of the songs. Churches like the example above want to communicate that worship is to be “dignified, subdued, and serious” and that showing emotion is inappropriate as it draws the focus away from God to the singer or the leader.

Hicks recommends that worship leaders focus on shepherding emotions rather than manipulating emotions. The difference is that shepherding is an invitation to show emotions, where manipulation feels like a demand to feel a certain way. So, how do worship leaders accomplish inviting people into their emotion lives instead of making a demand on people’s emotional life? To get at that, I asked the worship leaders in my survey, “Do you feel like you have to hide your personal emotional state during a worship service? Why or why not?”

Hiding Personal Emotions in Worship

By Denomination

To delve into how leaders reacted, I categorized their responses into four intriguing types: Open Expression, Emotional Concealment, Authentic Openness, and Guarded Expression. By performing a Quadrant Rating calculation, we generated a graph that offers a swift glimpse into people's comfort levels with displaying emotions while leading worship.

Looking at the graph, it's clear that the majority are at ease with open expression. Yet, there are two who prefer to keep their emotions under wraps while leading worship. There's also one leader striving for "authentic openness," aiming to avoid the pitfalls of appearing to manipulate emotions by only displaying genuine feelings. I thought that these results would vary more by denomination, with the more liturgical churches being less comfortable with showing emotion and the non-denominational churches being more open.

By Age

Looking at the responses broken down by age, there were some surprises. I was expecting that the older the leader was, the more they would be for concealing emotions while leading worship. I also thought that the inverse would be true that the younger a person was, the more they would be open to showing their emotions.

Our visualizations indicate that the oldest demographic exhibits the highest percentage of emotional concealment. Interestingly, millennials and Gen X appear to demonstrate greater openness and authenticity compared to both Gen Z and the younger subset of millennials, despite the insufficient data available for the youngest age group.

Why do leaders hide their emotions?

Professionalism- Worship leaders often hide their emotions for professional reasons, ensuring they can lead music, play instruments, and sing effectively.  A young Catholic Worship leader writes that they are “participating myself and bringing before the Lord where I am at. At the same time, music ministry is my job and there is a level of professionalism. If I get wrapped up in my own emotions, I can miss where the Spirit is moving because I am too inwardly focus.” If they are wrapped up in their emotions, they can miss what the congregation and the Holy Spirit are prompting. An older Lutheran accompanist inserts a little humor into their response, saying that they only show their emotions if they “want to have my voice hold out during a song, or to be able to see my music if” they are the “pianist/accompanist that day.” If the worship leader or accompanist is too caught up in their emotion, they cannot do their job faithfully.

Distraction- A middle aged non-denominational worship leader writes that even though they “need to be free in expression in order to free others” they also do not want their “personal emotions to overflow so that they distract.” A younger Disciple of Christ leader echoes the sentiment that they do not ever want “my expression of emotion to distract people” especially if they are “just going through something personally.” Tying professionalism and distraction together, a Catholic music director writes that “the times that I have allowed myself to get too carried away, the music integrity suffers as I will hit wrong notes, etc. Even times when I thought the emotion aided my music, I was asked later if I was OK- I guess the people had not seen me get into it so much! Other times when I thought my emotion aided, I was told I was banging the piano.” The congregation can get drawn into the emotion of the player or leader instead of focusing on worshipping God or searching their own heart. Or the music may not sound good which can draw a person out of worship.

Focus on God- A young Wesleyan Worship leader writes that “The stage is not where I process unhealed things, but is a place where God often meets me and moves through me and reminds me of what he's done, or he teaches me a new thing when I least expect it. It is not a place to unleash all my trauma.” A worship leader expressing their emotions can feel like they are making the worship service all about their emotions, and not about meeting God in worship. This leader is not saying that showing emotion is wrong, but they want to be cautious about where the focus lies. A Reformed Worship leader says something similar, writing that “My role as the worship leader is to bring all of those different emotional states into the commonplace of God's presence. We do that by focusing ourselves on God's perfect, consistent, and eternal Word. We do that by singing songs that focus on who God is, what he has done, and who we are in Christ Jesus.” They continue that their “role is much larger than” themselves and that they need to be able to “shepherd the congregation well in worship.” If the focus is on the leader, they are not bringing people into God’s presence.

Emotions do not Belong in Worship- Three worship leaders responded that emotions should not be part of worship but for different reasons. An older non-denominational worship leader asserts that their emotional state is irrelevant to their worship, emphasizing that worship should focus on blessing and glorifying the name of God rather than engaging with emotions. He cites the book of Job, where Job does not appeal to his emotions but blesses the name of God. One worship leader who refused to take the survey made a similar point that Christians worship out of Spirit and Truth instead of emotion. Approaching the question differently, a Catholic leader explains that the structure of the Mass does not accommodate emotional expression, excluding it from the worship experience.

There are practical reasons to hide emotion like trying to stay professional and not distract the worshippers away from focusing on God. I was expecting more worship leaders to respond that they felt like they needed to hide their personal emotions while leading worship, but a little less than half said that they did not need to hide their emotions while only two explicitly said yes, with the rest saying that there are some circumstances it may be appropriate to hide their emotions.  

Why do worship leaders show their emotions?

Many worship leaders express that they display their emotions to demonstrate authenticity while guiding the congregation towards understanding the appropriateness of experiencing and sharing emotions. They often emphasize the importance of leading people in their emotional expressions without resorting to manipulation. A middle-aged Reformed worship leader encapsulates this perspective by stating, “Overall, I believe it is beneficial to recognize and acknowledge feelings and emotions during worship. It is important to lead the community through these experiences. God created our emotions and knows them, so it is appropriate to bring them before God in worship.” Worship leaders aim to be genuine and avoid pretense in front of the congregation, fostering a shared emotional experience that promotes congregational intimacy. One leader replied that “We can’t hide from him; our relationship needs to be honest.” That seems to be a good enough reason to show emotion in worship. Worship leaders can hide their emotions from the congregation, but in doing so cannot hide them from God.

What do you think?

Do you think that worship leaders should hide their emotions while leading worship? Is it distracting, manipulating, or shepherding? Can you think of a time where a leader should hide their emotions? Do you agree with the few leaders who think that emotion has no place in worship? I’d love to hear your thoughts and stories!