Good Morning, Daniel!!! Thanks for this well-researched and thoughtful piece on how we approach death and the resurrection as God’s people. As always, I love your work and I’m always challenged by it. I appreciate how you call us to acknowledge the grief and sadness of living in a fallen world, while always bringing us back to the hope we have in Christ but without minimizing our grief. You make us think. Thank you.
Although it is not mentioned in your article here, the passage I love to turn to in a funeral setting is the story of Lazarus because it gives room for each of the things you’re asking about here. There is clearly room for grief as Jesus delays coming to the aid of His friends. When he finally arrives, knowing Lazarus has died, He listens to and receives the anger of those who are seeking explanation for this without rebuking them for it. He witnesses the heartbreak of death and separation (this was not God’s plan for humanity!) and acknowledges it all and deeply weeps with us! He makes room for and enters into our pain. And then, in effect, he says, ‘let me show you something. This is why I delayed before I came here.’ Then He proves that He holds the power of life and death, that He is our source of hope, and that we no longer have to live in fear of death: He calls Lazarus from the tomb. This journey allows space for anger and legitimizes our grief over death and separation. It shows that Christ shares these experiences and weeps with us. And then it ends in victory - He is the resurrection and the life, and through Him death does not have the final word. He also notably does not use this time to try to convert everyone by convicting them of their sin and asking them to ‘pray the Jesus prayer.’ This is not, I don’t think, what funerals should be about although I see it done all of the time. I think Jesus takes the approach you advocate here: 1) Real grief. Real emotion. Horror over the effects of death and the reality of how death separates us. 2) Acknowledgement of the significance of the deceased person’s life and relationships and impact and value. (Our God designed us for community and death breaks that!) 3) And then the truth that death is defeated. We have hope!!!! Grief and Hope. In funerals as in worship, both are true!
I think part of the issue is that our definition of worship is too small to include grief, so we do not think that we are worshiping when grieving or allowing for the expression of it.
You're right that there are many Scriptures that show how God is with those who are grieving and we need to make better use of those. I really like your points and might have to steal them while also knowing that it can be destructive to say that death is defeated.
The Sunday after we buried my MIL the day before, the worship band played Death is Defeated and Grave into Gardens. Both offer a wonderful assurance of God's victory over Death. But it's quite a hard pill to swallow after burying a loved one. It's hard to hold the concept of death existing and Death being defeated in tension, especially if you do not have the theological acumen to do so.
I guess what I am saying is that it could be damaging or a barrier to faith if when confronted with the reality of the death of a loved one you are told that God has defeated Death and that it no longer has power over a person. Does that make sense?
Absolutely makes sense. I think what we both long for is the room to grieve and to feel and to hold those things in tension with the hope that we also have - death is obviously present today. But our hope is that it does not win in the end. I think Jesus wanted us to know that we should grieve the separation, but that we ultimately don’t have to fear death. I’m hoping that is true!
Good Morning, Daniel!!! Thanks for this well-researched and thoughtful piece on how we approach death and the resurrection as God’s people. As always, I love your work and I’m always challenged by it. I appreciate how you call us to acknowledge the grief and sadness of living in a fallen world, while always bringing us back to the hope we have in Christ but without minimizing our grief. You make us think. Thank you.
Although it is not mentioned in your article here, the passage I love to turn to in a funeral setting is the story of Lazarus because it gives room for each of the things you’re asking about here. There is clearly room for grief as Jesus delays coming to the aid of His friends. When he finally arrives, knowing Lazarus has died, He listens to and receives the anger of those who are seeking explanation for this without rebuking them for it. He witnesses the heartbreak of death and separation (this was not God’s plan for humanity!) and acknowledges it all and deeply weeps with us! He makes room for and enters into our pain. And then, in effect, he says, ‘let me show you something. This is why I delayed before I came here.’ Then He proves that He holds the power of life and death, that He is our source of hope, and that we no longer have to live in fear of death: He calls Lazarus from the tomb. This journey allows space for anger and legitimizes our grief over death and separation. It shows that Christ shares these experiences and weeps with us. And then it ends in victory - He is the resurrection and the life, and through Him death does not have the final word. He also notably does not use this time to try to convert everyone by convicting them of their sin and asking them to ‘pray the Jesus prayer.’ This is not, I don’t think, what funerals should be about although I see it done all of the time. I think Jesus takes the approach you advocate here: 1) Real grief. Real emotion. Horror over the effects of death and the reality of how death separates us. 2) Acknowledgement of the significance of the deceased person’s life and relationships and impact and value. (Our God designed us for community and death breaks that!) 3) And then the truth that death is defeated. We have hope!!!! Grief and Hope. In funerals as in worship, both are true!
I think part of the issue is that our definition of worship is too small to include grief, so we do not think that we are worshiping when grieving or allowing for the expression of it.
You're right that there are many Scriptures that show how God is with those who are grieving and we need to make better use of those. I really like your points and might have to steal them while also knowing that it can be destructive to say that death is defeated.
As you know, I’m so grateful for the ways you are expanding our views of worship to allow us to worship on a much broader scale. Thank you.
I’d love to hear more from you about how it can ‘be destructive to say that death is defeated.’ What are your thoughts about that? Teach me!
The Sunday after we buried my MIL the day before, the worship band played Death is Defeated and Grave into Gardens. Both offer a wonderful assurance of God's victory over Death. But it's quite a hard pill to swallow after burying a loved one. It's hard to hold the concept of death existing and Death being defeated in tension, especially if you do not have the theological acumen to do so.
I guess what I am saying is that it could be damaging or a barrier to faith if when confronted with the reality of the death of a loved one you are told that God has defeated Death and that it no longer has power over a person. Does that make sense?
Absolutely makes sense. I think what we both long for is the room to grieve and to feel and to hold those things in tension with the hope that we also have - death is obviously present today. But our hope is that it does not win in the end. I think Jesus wanted us to know that we should grieve the separation, but that we ultimately don’t have to fear death. I’m hoping that is true!